Keep Your Hands to Yourself

“You’ve got to be desperate to steel from a blind person.” I heard this argument from someone and it confused me. Confusion came not so much that the morality of stealing from the blind is wrong, but that from the assumption that stealing from others is acceptable.

When I was a child at my mother’s knee, I learned that the penalty of theft was a blistered behind. The lesson was not that the blisters came more frequently if the target of my sin was someone less well off than me, but that the theft itself was not tolerated. If I wanted the cookie, I requested it. If I needed a dollar to ride the bus, I asked for it. Taking that which belongs to someone else was just not done, and by the time I reached five-years-old, I had that moral lesson so firmly entrenched in my skull that even today I check to see if anyone lost any money before I pick up what I find on the street.
When did the simple morality of theft change? Why is it acceptable to rob from the rich and give to the poor? Who are today’s protected classes? I am only concerned, as I would like to know if they deserve special consideration.
I still believe in equal equality regardless of your particular situation. Keep your hands out of my effects and if you cannot afford it, please do not’ take it. To miss quote Mr. Mackey, “stealing is bad … you shouldn’t steal.”

An RVAMaverick creation.

A Love Riddle

Love is a virtue representing all of humanity’s kindness, compassion, and affection; and the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Love may also be described as actions towards others or oneself based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection. According to William Shakespeare, “Love is not time’s Fool,” but it is often fooled by the misguided activities of the objects of one’s affections. You can love your whole family, or simply love your mother. You can love a favored pet, your Learjet, or just bask in the arms of another. Who or whatever you love, make sure that your love is returned. Wasted love is pain, and that should not be the name of your game. I find myself in love with a few people. My friends have one love, all due to their closeness and their caring for me. My family, as they have always looked out after me; consoling me and reassuring me that “All things have a possibility.” And finally the love that shall never be claimed as it is definitely in vain. I love one who I’ve never met. I’ve interacted with them, told stories about them, and consider them a good influence on my world. They keep me sane when times are crazy. They leave me focused, when the facts are hazy. I love them, and I know that I’ll do what it takes to help them when I have the ability. If you read this, feel free to guess. Is this blog post about you? The answer is probably not. 99.9 percent of folks won’t be able to guess who I mean. That one person won’t ever guess. And yes, I will obviscate if requested to reveal my secret. Remember friends, the best kept secret trusts only one persons with its existence. Shakespeare, William. (1609). “let me Not to the marriage of True minds.”

An RVAMaverick creation.

Spring

By William Shakespeare:

When daisies pied, and violets blue, and lady-smocks all silver-white,
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then, on every tree, mocks married men, for thus sings he:
‘Cuckoo! Cuckoo, cuckoo!’
O word of fear, unpleasing to a married ear.

When shepherds pipe on oaten straws, and merry larks are ploughmen’s clocks,
When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws, and maidens bleach their summer smocks,
The cuckoo then, on every tree, mocks married men, for thus sings he:
‘Cuckoo! Cuckoo, cuckoo!’
O word of fear, unpleasing to a married ear

An RVAMaverick creation.

March Madness

As a general rule I hate college basketball. There is no real way to enjoy a sport where the players can be disqualified based on their grades, or where you can’t watch your favorite team due to the restrictions of the local cable provider. College hoops is nice if you can watch it on the web, or have a local team playing near enough for you to visit in person. In general, the majority of the world does not have the ability or inclination to crowd into a stadium with a bunch of drunk and rowdy 21-year-olds as the local team gets their asses handed to them by their historic rivals.

Having said this, I have enjoyed the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) march madness tournament this year. March Madness as its called is when all the teams who did not suck throughout their season play each other for the opportunity to say “We’re the best and baddest team, so there.” The coolest part about this is that there is wall to wall basket ball on most of the major networks. While someone from Moose County University in Jackass Flats Michigan might not see their local boys on TV, they will be treated to the sights and styles of the Indiana Hoosiers, Butler Bulldogs, and VCU Rams playing their hearts out for the bragging rights of “best Damn team in the league.”

This year, 2012, CBS and the Turner Broadcasting System are collaborating to bring wall to wall hoops to the millions of college sports crazy Basketball fans both on television and online. This has been a wonderful thing as it has broadened the ability of folks to follow their teams, and to interact with their like minded fans in chats. It has been a huge boon to me as it has allowed me to become more interested in College hoops.

I hate to say it, I was an NBA fan and could not stand college. After the lockout, late season, and endless crap over the contracts for the professional services of these ball players, I turned on a college game and got hooked. I’ll still be a fan of professional basket ball, but college is now on my radar.

CBS, you and your colleagues are tasked with continuing the coverage of college hoops and to make March Madness as accessible as possible. You got a tentative convert. Let see if you keep my loyalty.

An RVAMaverick creation.

Tip Thy Waiters Well

I have never been a waiter, bellhop, soda jerk, or anyone who accepts less pay for honest work relying on the goodwill of patrons for tips. These folks have my undying respect, and thanks for putting up with the millions of irrational customers who cannot tell a rare steak from a piece of foam rubber.

These folks do a good job of getting your food to you. They handle millions of plates, put in thousands of man-hours on their tired feet, all for the lousy 15 or 20 percent tip we give them. To give less than that is simply careless. To purposely stiff them with fake money and religious tracts is just plain wrong. They do not need your faked religiosity. They do not need your attempt at salvation through missionary work. What they need is money in order to make ends meet.

Having read an article on the rise in fake tipping from Christians, I am righteously pissed off at my brothers and sisters in Christ. I know God told you to spread the good news of his grace. He did not tell you to act like a dick while doing so. He did not say that thou should stiff one in five servers whose families need their help with a fake $10 bill with my face on it.

The bible teaches to be kind to others, and to treat others as we wish to be treated. This way lays the kingdom of heaven and a salvation bought and paid for by good works and faith. Christians, take note of these words, as they are the Truth.

Do unto others, and you will be done unto.

Stiff a poor waiter and you will get a shaft in your life as well. It may not be right away, but it will happen. When it does, that waiter you shafted will be able to have the good fortune you so virtuously withheld from them.

Waiter’s Phony $10 Tip Includes Religious Lesson – DailyFinance

An RVAMaverick creation.

Meatball Soup: Mama Mia

I’m a fool for Italian food. If I see a dish that looks interest to me, I immediately have to look into it and try it out. Well Oh my Goodness, this soup is off the chanes! That’s my official word. Emeril Lagasse, that man who kicked it up a notch and made the word BAM a expletive of absolute enjoyment, has come up with the recipe for Meatball soup that is heaven in a bowl.

Get crushed tomatos, tomato paste, garlick, and your noodles of choice. Now start thinking spinach, fresh basil, Emril’s Escense, and Italian bread crums. Is your mouth watering? Don’t’ lie, I can see you drooling.

Wipe off your keyboard and head over to Food Networkand read Emril’s Meatball Soup recipe. If you don’t you only have yourself to blame.

An RVAMaverick creation.

Turkey Day Humor

Thanks Giving is a time of fun and fellowship. Its a time of turkey, dressing, football, and beer. its also the time when the best and baudy lines can be used from our relatives and all we can say is “Yep, there goes Grandpa again.”

Things you can only say on Thanksgiving day!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in!
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!

An RVAMaverick creation.